28 June 2005

The Other President's Speech and How It Relates to My 2008 Re-election



John Forbes Kerry, JFK, reporting to TikiPundit for duty. I am here to analyze the President's speech today in North Carolina, in which he talked about "Thank you very much." That simple summing sentence was the sum and substance of his speech, as I saw it. He meant, of course, "thanks a lot for ignoring the will of the people and installing me as your unelected leader."

My friends and colleagues from the Far Left know who is really in charge here. I'm in charge here.

And I order all soldiers and sailors, airmen and Marines, to follow my charge. Follow me: to Cambodia this Christmas, for a Vietnam Veteran's reunion and celebration. There's lots going on.

--Helicopters will bring in Playboy Playmates
--Someone will try to kill Kurtz
--I'll "lead" a platoon to a hut burning (using cellophane "flames" we tape to a "cellophane" hut)
--Al Gore will speak about propogating left-wing Vietnam fantasies via his "Internet"
--I will talk to my troops currently suffering in Vietnam
--At 2100 (that's 4 pm to civilians), we'll ceremoniously toss our medals across the "wire" to the "Gooks"
--We'll finish with a singalong in which my lovely, vivacious and utterly private, non-campaigning, whatsername semi-wife will participate. We'll sing "American Pie," "Karballah Not Glue," "Go Your Own Way," and the like with our friends and subordinates

Come one, come all. See you "back in 'Nambodia."

Oh. I almost forgot. I'll announce my orders that I be re-elected in 2008 at this august event (even though it doesn't occur in August).

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