19 June 2005

TikiPundit Senior Pundit, Arriving

The President of the United States, reporting for duty. I am delighted to be here and will offer the sobering insights of one of New England's most enlightened, educated, sophisticated, and sophomoric senior senators to the esteemed audience here assembled. But don't worry, I'm gonna lay off the French language. That, and a cup of coffee, got me like 25 votes in the last election. And ten of them were French tourists my boyz illegally registered in Ohio. Yeah, indeed. Which French are dumb enough to visit Ohio? It's so flyover. No wonder the Referendum went over like Hitler dancing the Lindy Hop at the Eiffel Tower.

You haven't heard much from me and Michael Moore since the election, but fear not, America. Your ears will soon bleed with our nasal discourse. Now, before I go report in person and salute TikiPundit (with whom I served in Cambodia on duty), I just want to take a moment of your time and tell you to keep hope alive, that all is not lost, that it takes a village, and that that awful man Hillary Clinton will never, ever be my running-mate. Not even if the election were for the Port-a-Potty manager at Pots-R-Us, Incorporated, of New Bedford.

New Bedford "doesn't wanna know from Hillary," as they say in New York.

I'm gonna comment on everything in this blog, just like I do in my political life. But don't expect results, just like in my political life. I'm your ear-salve. And I'm reporting for duty.


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