31 July 2005

Crazy Water Time Hawaii

Was hanging out at Cranky Neocon talking story about Santa Cruz 'stead of taking care business back home.

Big problem over Molokai. Gas run out. People go crazy. Run around, wave hands, look for car keys, watch "Day After" movie. Watch "Lord of the Flies" movie. Much worry Molokai.

Next, big problem Kauai. Trash dumping. Man oh man. Why so much trash?

Sumo guy Akebono knocked out first round big K-1 fight Honolulu. Badass Korean did him in. Akebono lost weight since sumo days. Punch like kid now. 470 pounds of kid. All six foot eight kid. TikiPundit still wouldn't call him out. Gotta be a big Korean knock out Akebono. Last ting TikiPundit knock out is dumb blog post.

Now to water problems. Guy goes night spear-fishing Hawaii. Fish come, gut man sternum to navel like man was fish in deli Safeway Beretania store. Bad-ass fish 'round here. Watch out. Water alive. Fish angry right now. Water boiling around islands right now. TikiPundit running to stone platform right now, gotta try fix everything. Pray, make sacrifice. Watch "Day After" movie, get scared, drive to gas station Waikiki.

Couple people drowned too. One tourist at Pounders, and one guy at Pololu Beach on Big Island. This stuff not funny. Waters here are serious. They are alive. Don't be messing around in the water. Everybody know, "Don't turn your back on the surf?" What that mean to you? Mean, "Don't turn your back on the surf, face shore, goof around for camera." Few months ago, tourist in clothes think Sandy Beach look good for late-night weekend swim. He died in clothes. Buried in clothes. You come over, gotta get map and get rid of clothes. Gotta ask around, where swim. People tell you. People friendly. People don't wanna stop beach barbecue, go get you out of waddah. Ruin ambience of picnic. No more good time beach picnic. Everybody go home, watch "Day After" movie. Everybody hungry. TikiPundit get calls fo mo help. TikiPundit outta gas because everyone panic. TikiPundit stuck Waikiki. No help people. Make TikiPundit angry. TikiPundit make beaches kapu. Tourist dollahs dry up. But no one drown anymore.

Most places here, you don't wanna swim. Waikiki, it's OK most times. Water calm, lotta shallow, buncha breakwaters, lifeguards everywhere. Summertime, lots of places are OK certain times of day all over. Don't drink booze, go swimming. You end up sacrifice to gods and fish food. Just maybe you feel good, last thought. Drunk and drowning.

Kids going crazy here too. New kine Pac Rim Wild Bunch. Don't need license ride moped. Don't need helmet. Don't need shoes. Take surfboard one hand, handlebar uddah hand, go beach. Now go beach ninety mile hour. Break speed rules. Break neck.

Finally, Senator Daniel Inouye sane 90 percent time. TikiPundit show you 10 percent time here.


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