08 July 2005

Planned Parenthood and MADD: In My Stirrups for 2008


I'm really unhappy with the Catholics on this one. Over at Roman Catholic Blog, they're hammering away at one of this country's finest leaders in the history of this country. YEAAH! I'm talking about Margaret Sanger, the village goddess founder of Planned Parenthood.

Founder Sanger was all kinds of nasty, I'm learning. And I like her style! Reminds me of me in a smock, a doily and a garter belt. She writes,

"I hated the wretchedness and hopelessness of the poor, and never experienced that satisfaction in working among them that so many noble women have found."

Yeow! I'm making cat-clawing motions with my hands just reading that!

And then she goes all brown-shirt eugenicist on us:

"... the most urgent problem today is how to limit and discourage the over-fertility of the mentally and physically defective."

This is where I disagree with Dr Sanger. (She is a Doctor like me, isn't she?) The most urgent problem today is how to limit and discourage the over-fertility of Red States. YEAAH!

Planned Parenthood seeks, per its founder, to eliminate disgusting births among the poor and disaffected, plus snuff out births of handicapped children. The Goebbelian beginnings of Planned Parenthood are the core of today's genetically- and evolutionarily-enlightened Nonprofit.

You know what's really touching about Planned Parenthood's web site? Their blue and pink web design -- which evokes the colors that symbolize boy and girl babies. It's a boy! Blue. It's a girl! Pink. All those young lives, snuffed, of course, because they weren't really lives at all, but instead, tissue and oddly-arranged pre-human cells. Fetuses, Planned Parenthood will tell you, are anthropomorphic in nature, especially when their parents are poor. They only resemble human beings because we who are human naturally see human shapes in all things. But the pre-born are not human at all and I might humbly suggest to Planned Parenthood to choose colors that evoke that fine organization's mission, which is to NOT save lives. Out with blue and pink and in with black, red and white.

Blue and pink, though. I'm loving it. I'm going to use those for the 2008 White House campaign when I go all methotrexate on the American public. And then I'm going to vacuum-aspirate the survivors and dilate, suction and evacuate the rest. If anyone's standing after that, I'm sure they'll vote Democrat because they support these procedures. Bomb this Clinic of the Campaign, extremists!

While I'm on the subject of extremists -- meaning, of course, Roman Catholics ahem -- let me introduce you to the fine, upstanding organization called Mothers Against Drunk Driving.


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