17 August 2005

Akaka Bill Rolls Like 0-2 Foot Waves

Wall Street Journal's Opinion Journal doesn't like the Akaka Bill. In principle, it's not a bad assessment, and its writers, Slade Gorton and Hank Brown, are not stupid. (Although TikiPundit wonders why it takes more and more people these days to write. For goodness sake, this piece was only 814 words long. Remember high school? Teacher told you, write one page, front and back, on the Gettysburg Address. That meant 500 words, 250 on each side. So this article is more like a weekend homework assignment rather than an overnighter. Pish posh, says me, who has been reading Victorian stories lately.

I didn't hear no one over here boast that Hawaii could secede peacefully, Slade and Hank. And, truth is, that assertion that the Akaka Bill "rests on a betrayal of express commitments made by its sponsors a decade ago" is an useless point, since nothing was made law back then. The other day, I tole wan guy go fishpond, get fish fo' me, take nex day off. But then, I needed him go back fishpond nex day, get me wan mo' fish. So much for my express commitment. Guy was mad, but on dah udda han', he got contact famous Hawaiian god two days, and mana increased.

Also, Slade and Hank out of Senate job now, got time read histories from all sides of 1893 overthrow and annexation. They point out that USA was neutral but ignored the influence of US persons in these actions. That's not quite so. Someone told it to the Marines, who came in to protect the interest of US businessmen on the islands. TikiPundit definitely not leftist or socialist or worker's rights (ha! look my taro fields) but US Marines posturing all over the place is not a good way to "win the hearts and minds" of the locals.

Maybe if TikiPundit had had more powers at that time, would have sent all Americans to leaping-off place. But then bad things would have happened. Russians come. British come. French come. Japanese come. Maybe even Germans come. TikiPundit could summon all the sharks in the world to appear, but those kine sharks very tough to kill off. The machinations of overthrow and annexation cannot be explained in a WSJ blog by a couple of disaffected ex-pols. Jus' like TikiPundit cannot explain what a heiau is and means in a blog.

I agree that the rights of native Hawaiians are protected under the US Constitution. It remains one of the tree four most important documents of thought in the history of the world. You can talk Magna Carta, you can talk Martin Luther, you can talk about the lyrics of Bruce Springsteen till the night-marchers come home, but you cannot doubt how incredibly important and well-done the Constitution is. But G&B got one t'ing wrong same paragraph. They write, "[Native Hawaiians'] economic success matches that of non-native Hawaiians."


Not by a long shot. T'ing is, if the Hawaiian gods and chiefs and kings came back, it would be even worse for those poor suckers.

Now, let's talk about independence. I already tole you, who gonna run power plant. No one email me, say, "Dis bruddah can run power plant." Who gonna run air traffic control tower, land tourist planes? Nobody email. Who gonna pave roads, be civil engineers? What, use Stone Age heiau-building technology to pave roads? No one email. Natives too poor or stupid to use email. Gonna land planes, that kind education? Already Hawaii Nr. 50 in education. What we gonna teach? Graffiti tagging? How to arson up brush fire? How to dump stolen car by beach? How to make "ice"? We good at all dat.

Hawaii Reporter has an August 16th NPR (hold your nose) transcript talking about the Akaka Bill and so on. Go and read it.

Crazy boy up deah name U'u Koanoa Kanahele. Also called Bumpy. That's because his brain is bumpy. He wanna be chief. He wanna get mana. He wanna be kahuna. He crazier than shit-house rat. He t'ink any apology admittance of crime. So I go bump old lady in Daiei, say sorry, I committed crime? That's crazy talk.

Could be big problem independent Hawaii: 80,000 GIs. But no worries. Everybody happy to keep GIs in Hawaii, that's for sure. Big money, those guys. GIs are "cash-rich and asset-poor." Just like a lotta Japanese. That means, they spend spend spend off-base. Cars, restaurants, golf clubs, TVs. Good for business, good for government. Retail means tax collection. Don't no-one wanna see Pearl Harbor close.

That much remains intact from the Hawaiian Kingdom. Gotta love those GIs. Even Marines, who ack lot bettah today.

TikiPundit thinks that a couple of semi-crazy ex-Senators got nothing useful to say about Akaka Bill. Mo' bettah go get retainer some job. Dey spent 814 words on a blog for nothing useful say. They gotta get back now to reality.

They are cynical dreamers.

Here is reality, right now my place: Sunset Waikiki still one of most beautiful on planet. BBQ smell in air. Late waves, last rides. Tourists strolling, think about dinne. Kids splashing in warm water, sandy bottom beach. People outside, talking, laughing. Parks everywhere, green everywhere. Honolulu stll one of most pleasant big cities in dah worl'.

All this outdoors matters. Commentary from wanabe pundits don't matter wan bit. Not even from TikiPundit. Because TikiPundit naturalist anyway. Understands wave action, fish seasons, movement of insects, changes in windspeed and direction, wat kine clouds. All this matters to men. G&B been so removed so long from men they don't unnastand nuttin' no mo' about men.


Blogger HWB said...

From Kamehameha the Great to now, unification, blending, mutual respect, and love have been the winning formula between all the people smart enough to immigrate to Hawaii, starting with the Polynesians and continuing with all those who followed. Just read the constitutions and speeches of the monarchs during the days of the Kingdom. For example: Kauikeaoli 1840. "God hath made of one blood all nations of man to dwell on the earth in unity." Census 2000 demographics show that, like everyone else, some Hawaiians do very well, some don't and most are somewhere in between. Sure, you can probably find wrongs in the past. But who can't? And what's to be gained by dwelling on it? Unity and equality for every individual, whatever his or her ancestry, are still the best and only hope for all of us.

Arakaki v Lingle seeks to dismantle OHA and Hawaiian Homes but to allow homesteaders to acquire their lots in fee, at no or discounted cost, so they can have the same joys, responsibilities and pride as other home owners free from the stultifying status of being wards of the government. Then we will all play by the same rules. The demagogues will be out of work and Hawaiians will excel. That will happen.


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