24 August 2005

Call off the Dogs, George!



I tell you what, I really can't stand that USA. Always interfering with my plans! I got big plans for North Korea and I can't deal with all these US troops pouring in to exercise the "defense" of South Korea. Ain't gonna be no defense. I tried to tell Hans that.

So I made my stoogies over at DPRK News put out a sophisticated press release. I'm telling George, "Call off the dogs! Call them off! And while you're at it, can you get that UN flag off the US Forces Korea flagpole? You're making me look bad!

Here's my press release. Better than Lance Armstrong:
Pyongyang, August 24 (KCNA) -- We have shown utmost magnanimity and flexibility as regards the issue of denuclearizing the Korean Peninsula but will never do such a thing as yielding to anyone's pressure and abandoning our sovereign right. A spokesman for the Foreign Ministry of the Democratic People's Republic of Korea stated this in an answer given to a question put by KCNA Wednesday in connection with the Ulji Focus Lens-05 joint military exercises launched by the United States in south Korea.
    Recalling that the U.S.-south Korea "Combined Forces Command" launched the joint military exercises on August 22 despite the repeated warnings of the DPRK, the spokesman said:
    We cannot but take a serious view of such perfidious act of the U.S. as staging the provocative war maneuvers targeted against the dialogue partner after expressing its will not to invade the DPRK.
    The U.S. undisguised military hostility towards the DPRK only compels it to explicitly interpret the U.S. expression of its will for a peaceful solution to the nuclear issue as no more than hypocrisy.
    Dialogue and confrontation can never go together.
    If the U.S. persistently incites confrontation and pursues dialogue as a smokescreen to cover up it, this will also compel the DPRK to change its stand toward dialogue.
    The fact that the U.S. launched the above-said military exercises on the eve of the resumption of the six-party talks that had gone into temporary recess cannot be construed otherwise than an attempt to force the DPRK to accept its unjust demand.
    The U.S. is sadly mistaken if it calculates it can get any concession from the DPRK by military pressure or high-handed practice.
    All the facts go to prove what just step the DPRK has taken to bolster all the deterrent forces under the banner of Songun.
    The DPRK is closely following all the developments.

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