08 August 2005

Kamehameha Schools Protest & General Dumbness

Your favorite local Hawaiian god was at the big protest in Honolulu this past weekend. Everybody was out complaining about the 9th Circuit Court decision to desegregate Kamehameha Schools. All I knew was "big protest" so naturally I went on down there to check my people out. I had left my camera with Lono, though, who wanted to take some pictures of "bitchin' waves" that were sure to come this weekend. I think he ended up in a pawn shop on McCully, hungover and looking for some quick cash. So I ended up relying on MSM to help document this seminal event in the racist history of Hawaii.

I want to show you first why I didn't go to Hilo to join the protest over there.
Here is the massive show of support:

A circle. They got up a circle. Thanks. Appreciate the support. Nice to know you can mobilize the citizenry -- or whatever you're called in the soon-to-be Hawaiian nation -- for an important cause. I'll remember that next time Zeros come flying in over your heads. You remember THAT, don't you? What a nightmare!

Here's where I was instead. Honolulu, where all the people who didn't have jobs last week had time to dig out some flags, wash some T-shirts and head downtown to march up and down the street at the indignity of it all. Since I didn't have a job last week either, I went out and got this cool University of Hawaii trucker's cap to wear. Check me out, representin'.

Check out that guy on the cell phone. What's he doing? Calling his girlfriend? "Hey, I'm gonna be on MSM, prolly tomorrow!" Or else, "Hey, meet me at Sam Choys after the march so we can talk about how repressed we are, over some oysters and lobster." A cell phone during a protest?? Hey, over in Hilo they had me on speed dial, but I couldn't care. I sent them more rain. On the Tiki weather speed dial. I got three numbers punched in: clouds/rain, tsunami, and Eddie Aikau Quicksilver. I wonder what farmer's market was more important to them over in Hilo, that they couldn't turn out. Maybe there was a car crash on the two-lane that is the ONLY major highway on the island, and all the protesters got backed up somewhere.

Anyway, the latest news today is that the kid won't be allowed to enroll in the school anyway right now. His lawyer asked for it, the 9th Circuit said get lost. Second news, Kamehameha Schools is launching "Plan B," which is, umm, what to do if other races get past the lawyers, George Wallace and the Alabama National Guard.

Did you read it?

'Cause I gotta ask, is THAT Plan B? Kam leaders, that's all you got? Plan A: status quo -- haole go home. Plan B: Haole High School. Come on, no wonder you went burned down all my temples and tore up my shrines back then. You don't THINK well, people. Your Plan B oughta be Plan Q or X. Don't you understand politics and negotiation at all? What about the plans in between? The strategies and negotiating points in between refusal and surrender? I know at least one of you knows how to use a cell phone 'cause I saw you at the protest. Call someone who has a clue.

Admittedly, the big Plan B has some limiters in it that would satisfy a lot of Hawaiians. For instance, applicants could be forced to pass a Hawaiian language test. Good luck with that given the state "No Child Left Behind" failures. Or, admittance could be limited to people who claimed descendance from native Hawaiians before 1893 (good luck with that, though, as Germany found out when its citizenship policies got roughed up by the European Union).

But for now, look for a year or two of court fights. The plaintiff is a senior in high school this fall. He'll be in Congress slapping around a "racist" state policy by the time the locals are finding out what's wrong with Plan B. Selma, Hawaii, here we come.


Blogger The Maximum Leader said...

What? No protest babes wearing little (or nothing) at all? What the hell sort of protests do you have out there in Hawaii?

Or are you hiding the "good" photos for yourself...


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