24 September 2005

Two Minute News Sunday

ITEM: What dat mean? Natatorium. I nevah know. It's a swimming pool and stands by the water in Waikiki. Still trying to proteck. Because it's a war memorial too. Mean, war dead memorial.

ITEM: Nuddah war memorial item sinking into history. The Visitors Center at the USS Arizona Memorial is sinking. That was built on landfill dredged from Pearl Harbor. Gonna cost a lot to fix and improve. 40 million people have visited the Memorial since 1980.

ITEM: First the President in trouble for crazy FEMA appointment. Arabian Horse an' all dat. Now Gov Lingle ack same crazy. Had to pick Democrat as state rep after the incumbet -- some guy, Ken something -- decide quit. He got bettah offer. Had to be Democrat and from same District, dass dah rulez. So muss be good buddy sometin'. Girlfrien' network, sometin'. So pick lady name Beverly Harbin. Big fail business lady. Owes six figure tax. Got liens, everything. Is that not crazy? Who hires somebody who has a bad track record in management? Bush, now Lingle. Dass who. Lingle outta be ashamed, come out my place, make offerings of atonement and regret. Right now bad move. If Harbin ends up managing the light rail project, gonna manipulate the WX again, bring sharks from sea, bring mudslides and volcanoes, earthquake. By the way, Harbin calls the pointing out of her financial mismanagement "mudsling politics." Nice. She don' care--'cause she got hers. So all of you just drop dead. Cause Harbin is another class act from their side of the aisle.

ITEM: Look like gas price drop next week. Ripple effect. Go up week after dat. Juss lahk dat.

ITEM: Hui Malama I Na Kupuna 'O Hawaii Ne won a victory in the 9th Circuit Court (aka Court of Jesters) when they overturned a lower court decision to return 83 Native Hawaiian artifacts that got returned to the land, in a cave on Hawaii. Good news is, it's the right thing to do. Bad news is, the 9th Circuit is the craziest judicial institution in the US, just this side of Larry, Moe and Curly in black robes. The legal battle goes on. No one got guts come my heiau fight real battle on dis subjeck.

ITEM: How crazy dis world?? Crazy enough to "rescue" eight dolphins that got swept away during Hurricane Katrina... swept away into the sea they came from! Is there a People for the Ethical Treatment of Dolphins? How you call dis "rescue"? Like "rescuing" prisoners that break outta jail? You tink dey wanna go back? What dat word? "Sanctimonious." Sanctimonious "rescuers." Sorry, Flipper, I know you like the ocean and the freedom to swim where you wanna be, but we're rescuing you back to your 40ft tank. So we can study you and help all the other dolphins that we haven't yet "rescued."

ITEM: Wanna see what's ahead for Kamehameha Schools? Check out the prediction of lawsuits if the Catholic Church bans gays from seminaries. Dat relate? Yeah. Ripple effect, of anuddah kine.


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