07 October 2005

Two Minute News Saturday

ITEM: Big Bruddah make you pay car tickets previous owner accrued.

ITEM: Here's the only person in Hawaii saying Aloha to Bev Harbin.

ITEM: I stand corrected. Funny!

ITEM: Hawaii Reporter on corruption among the "beach boy" concessions down Waikiki Beach.

ITEM: Boom bomb found by Kauai jogger. Huh?

ITEM: Gas to go up by 9 cents/gallon next week. Thanks, Dems. Appreciate your foresight and sublime guidance.

ITEM: The 3.5% fuel surcharge sweeping tsunami-like through the Pacific Islands has made light bills on Saipan shoot up almost double. Since 70% of Hawaii's fuel goes south -- literally -- to the islands, the Hawaii Democrats' gas cap hurts more than Hawaiians.

ITEM: Mufi ga-ga over elevated railroad and "smart cards" in phone that pay bus fare. In related news, Mufi overwhelmed by "di-gi-tal" technology and horseless carriages. Hawaii prepares to enter 1960s.

ITEM: Su‘a Atonio Su‘a, member of Samoa's Parliament and Secretary of the Samoa Democratic United Party, was murdered in Auckland, New Zealand, on 05 October. And UNID 47-year old male has been arrested.

ITEM: The most Fijians since 2002 will get a green card in the world's most popular lottery, the USA's Diversity Visa Lottery Program. Still no word on the results of Alec Baldwin's France immigration lottery draw of 2002.

ITEM: Big mistake down American Samoa. Samoa Breweries sent gift baskets including beer to Samoans serving in Iraq. Must have been too drunk to read up on General Order Nr. 1, which prohibits the hard-working troops from consuming alcohol.

ITEM: Vailima Beer, mmmmmm.

ITEM: Here's something Tom DeLay should be indicted for. In 1997, touring Saipan on a "fact-finding" mission, he supported local factories' lobbying the Clinton administration to stop pushing for minimum wage laws. DeLay said, "I didn't see anybody sweating," referring to work conditions in factories, which hire foreign labor -- including illegals from China -- for which labors laws don't apply. Haw haw, laughed US Customs, which is fighting a rear-guard action against a tsunami of illegal migrants.

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