01 October 2005

Two Minute News Sunday

ITEM: State Dept of Hawaiian Homelands agree plan build 417 new houses Molokai. Gotta be Da Kine to get dem, though. Cost $44.8 million. Dept ask tourists, please keep come Hawaii, spend money.

ITEM: Hawaii Reporter says US Dept of Justice still concern wit compromise version of Akaka Bill.

ITEM: Confirmed criminal Bev Harbin -- aka the Rap Sheet Rep -- says she won't resign because she did not think her rap sheet would prove to be an embarrassment. Dat point of view enough to show her dah door.

ITEM: Harbin played the sympathy card last week, citing an abusive marriage as causing her to make mistakes. Way ta go, Girlfrien'.

ITEM: When appointing her, Gov Lingle said, "I look forward to working with her in the next legislative session." Hoof in Mout Disease. Cause L later said, "Hoof it, Harbin." Maybe now good time Lingle go DC, work on Akaka Bill. Li'l too hot Hawaii right now.

ITEM: Red State fisks the New York Times for saying the two hurricanes were natural disasters "with human fingerprints."

ITEM: Bobby Kennedy, Jr., and Barbara Streisand won't win any Nobel Prizes for their work on the sun's impact on global warming.

ITEM: Hawaiian Electric Company raised prices 3.3% plus added a fuel surcharge of 16%. Lucky you live gas cap Hawaii. What, you no tink gas cap affeck 'lectric? You muss be Democrat den.

ITEM: High weirdness in the labor dispute at Turtle Bay. Big resort corp indicted itself, saying it made illegal bribes to union officials. What was bribe? Parking. Anyone in Honolulu can 'preciate dat. Parking hard. But Turtle Bay stupid anyway. Good luck in union fight. Who mo dumb there?

ITEM: Sens Akaka and Inouye voted against SCOTUS Chief Roberts. Now, there are Principles and there are principles. Your friendly local Hawaiian god is disappointed these two took the low road.

ITEM: Now trying ban alcohol tailgate parties Aloha Stadium. Pretty soon, Dems going to be banning alcohol at backyard BBQs Hawaii. Hard to believe, with traffic, drugs, crook Harbin, Hawaiian sovereignty issues, excise tax, that officials out here put together Task Force to deal with tailgaters. Wonder if Bev Harbin contracted dat, too?

ITEM: Hard to believe, State of Hawaii now go investigate price gouging gas. First, state set up gas cap. Now set up look-see gas price gouge. TikiPundit tink state muss already solved traffic, drugs, crook Harbin, Hawaiian sovereignty issues an excise tax.

ITEM: Hono honcho Mufi go Japan, talk up tourism. Also take look-see mass transit systems. Gotta figger out, how use Dems' excise tax fiat. Might also check out, how samurai use rule Japan. No need ballot box. Juss make tax.

ITEM: Hui Malama I Na Kupuna O Hawaii Nei gonna try appeal 9th Circuit ruling on return of 83 burial items from secret cave. TikiPundit still say, let the dead stay dead. Say, museum is no place for such stuff. Your friendly local Hawaiian god doesn't want his blog stolen from a Big Island cave and displayed in the Bishop Museum. TikiPundit beginning not like museums. TikiPundit anthropology major. No like museum culture Hawaii.

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