24 November 2005

Last Foto Friday & Big-Time News

Here are some nice pictures of Molokai, an island most people mistakenly overlook. These are from UH archives.

Because of a work move, your friendly local Hawaiian god is going to have to sign off and sail east to the Mainland, to take taro and ahi to the unwashed hungry natives there.

Someday, TikiPundit will return to his heiau on Molokai to tend his taro fields and fishponds, and generally get the locals back in line.

Thanks for reading this blog! See you around sometime!

20 November 2005

Hawaii Bakeshop Open Now

Oh, man. Had to search back Ono Kine Grindz to reference this Hallowed Place of Honor. Gonna miss dis, when leave Hawaii. Not gonna miss aged decrepit haoles pushing agenda on people in order to make up missed lives. Sorry for the photo. Not sorry for da link -- top class goods dat bakery, and fo dat matter, da Ono Kind Grindz web site link.

Poor Bob Woodward. He lived by the sword so long, he forgot that he might die by it. The famed Watergate investigator seems to be as much out of touch with reality as any elected schmuck in DC. Put a fork in him, he's done.

Doug at Poinography talks about the debate on street performers in Waikiki. He writes, "The presence of people stopping and enjoying themselves on the sidewalk brings these businesses less revenue and could set a dangerous precedent by demonstrating the possibility of enjoying a trip to Waikiki without going broke. Gawking is free." Indeed. However, your friendly local Hawaii god takes to heart Doug's ironic statement that, "... the sidewalks were designed solely to efficiently route customers directly between member businesses." Exactly. That's what I don't want. Those taxpayer funded sidewalks public spaces belong to the public. But: no more to mimes than pedestrians or Tikis or people who would rather move from business to business, or home to business, than those who have never seen a gold-clad human statue. However, I don't share what I take to be Doug's Libertarian-esque opinion on how public space is to be utilized. I'm sympathetic, but I'd prefer a MORE Libertarian view that would allow me to beat down with a shark-tooth club a newspaper-covered human/statue who is reading a newspaper while sitting on a bench, and only moves when someone drops two bits in their bucket. Why he can make newspaper-mime doo-doo when I can't beat him down? That's my problem with this position. That said, Doug raises important and even post-modern questions about how we use the remaining public space we can access, questions which are all the more relevant in crowded times in Hawaii.

Johnny Depp tink leave France. Use ta tink leave USA. How many countries left Depp can leave? How 'bout he leave us alone at box office?? Him an Alec Baldwin. I suppose now, we get exposed to Depp's pontifications on how he's "learned something today" about tolerance, integration and acceptance. Throw in a few bon-mots about "the children" and he'll have half the Left eating out of his jock strap. And then he'll lecture us for twenny years on it, as if people who live and breathe violence every day had never been exposed to it. By the way, his last name is appropriate. "Depp" in German means fool, moron, jackass, butt of jokes. Dieser Depp soll lieber wieder nach Amerika zuruck kehren.

Who knew Wal-Mart had archaeologists? I thought they were merely the greeters.

Given the results of yesterday's Auburn-Alabama football game, you'd think that the Crimson Tide would gratefully accept all the publicity they could get. The differences between Alabama's two major universities becomes apparent, again and again, innumerable times, throughout the lifetime of an SEC fan.

18 November 2005

Foto Friday

Kaena Point, Oahu.

16 November 2005

FrankenHarbin Reappears

Just when you thought it was safe to go out and buy long pants and a windbreaker for the upcoming winter, Bev Harbin, unelected Republican-cum-Democrat, reappears on the political media stage. Time to break out the torches and pitchforks and give a nice Hawaiian Punch to this opportunistic, failed, Hawaii Hemorrhoid.

News Wednesday

ITEM: Crazy foreigners, disturbing lava. Remember, every every time you pile up cold lava, a kitten dies.

ITEM: More bad craziness, this time probably from one of the loony Native Hawaiian fringe groups on-island. 113 years the staffs were there, now gone.

ITEM: The local Red Star Bulletin rag has a great straw man idea, never before done in America. I have a great idea for the RSB: stop sending homeless people into heavy Honolulu traffic to hawk your dumb, failing newspaper.

ITEM: This is highly inflammatory. Also inefficient to users because you have to bow to it every time you use it.

ITEM: I'm all for this. Last thing I wanna see on my home turf of Waikiki is a mime doing a TikiPundit impersonation. How you mime shark fishing and invading Maui?

ITEM: Everyone on the island is going crazy over alcohol bans at Aloha Stadium (site of the Pro Bowl, lousy UH football games and great high school football games). First they talked about banning booze inside the stadium. Then, in the natural order of political events in Hawaii, the reverse was suggested. Now, talk about banning booze at tailgates outside stadium. Next, will talk about banning booze inside the Hawaii State Legislature. Now that ban TikiPundit can support. Those people drunk on power from morning to midnight. Can't make decent decisions.

ITEM: Greenpeace is far more crazy than the Sierra Club. Naturally, as do so many liberals and leftists, the Military-Industrial Complex State was blamed for their coral reef extravagance. Why people don't take responsibility for their own actions or, maybe, pay attention to their surroundings? Who's the captain of the Greenpeace institutional shipwreck? TikiPundit wanna have one-way wall-to-wall conversation about value of reefs. Teach unaware Greenpeace about the importance of ecological conservation.

ITEM: Samoans slandered here. Lunatic Neelesh Phadnis, presiding.

ITEM: Whoops. 27-year CIA veteran leaks US intelligence budget. Why no Justice Department investigation about this??

ITEM: Tell me about it. Japanese ack like monkeys in Honolulu, too.

ITEM: What kine defamation Tiki is dis?

Sierra Club's Fresh Young Volunteer Force Arrives Hawai'i

How come Sierra Club, Earth Liberation Front, and various Berkeley-based agendas got such old people fronting 'em? Take a look at dis:

Old, craven, sour white woman from Sierra Club. An' she posing! Not a natural pic. Everybody got a bad natural picture. Dis woman posing like poster-girl for haole. TikiPundit remember firs' time haole come Hawaii. Bad scene. Good Hawaiian people running aroun' screaming ghosts everywhere! Can see right troo! Den skin turn red from sun, not nice brown. Old haoles, can't tell whether man or woman. Everything confused from first appearance a dem, to now.

First appearance of haoles in Hawaii was a classic example of bad marketing.

TikiPundit tells all, left and right, you gotta properly market your idea, your agenda, your propaganda to the awaiting consumer. Because now, everytime your friendly local Hawaiian god sees the Sierra Club wandering onto his private property (aka the Hawaiian Islands), he gets the mental flash of this image. And den gotta take up spear all day long, sleep with shark-tooth club under pillow at night.

An' who dis Jack Johnson? Gotta perform night march, check out his puka, see what he got going on, cancel something he agreed to. Crazy dysfunction to change mind too much. Out of balance. Maybe Johnson need big-time fishing trip, restore balance. TikiPundit show right way.

15 November 2005

New Blog: The Dougout

Hey, juss about forgot tell you go see good new blog Hawaii.

Check out KalapanaPundit i.e., Grant Jones' blog, over at The Dougout started back October 31. Forget Halloween, dis one good blog and a lotta fun to read.

Grant branched off from The 50th Star and yeah, he too got RSS feed at dis spot. Anybody make RSS OK in my book, 'cause TikiPundit read weird hours, lahk lass nite when spent all nite studying effect of full moon on tides. Study fish flow after full moon tide.

Very tired all day so glad "wireless coconut network" could aggregate RSS feed from the likes of The Dougout.

TikiPundit RSS Feed Here

Hey, got RSS feed going. If you use an RSS newsreader, or RSS-capable browser, use this URL:


That way you get a quick notice when new post happens.

11 November 2005

Foto Friday

USS Nimitz passes the USS Arizona at Pearl Harbor. Photo courtesy Dept of Defense.

Senator Akaka's Veterans Day Statement is here.

08 November 2005

Jimmy Carter's Loathed Sudden Reappearance

Hi, everybody. Remember me? Well --heh heh-- how can you help but remember me? I was that Southern goof who took over after Richard Nixon resigned and nobody wanted to re-elect a Republican in 1976. Hell Heck, they coulda elected Hitler if he had declared for the Democratic Party. And you know as well as me that many Blue Staters are closet National Socialists what with their ideals and when you compare them to the values of 1936 Germany. Anyway, it's time for a new book, but not the book to the left, that's another book that I'm just so proud of, ermm, anyway, because of that I'm out in public again, stumpin' and humpin', as they say. Please enjoy TikiPundit's laudatory comic about me. But please don't be disrespectful. I can still swing a hammer for any photo-op, I still celebrity-teach Sunday School, and I still don't believe my family abused low-paid, sometimes illegal alien workers on ow-wah peanut fahm. Tiki says he'll publish a series of comics about me under the moniker of THE CARTER FAMILY FAVORITES COOKBOOK and I take that as a real honor and authorize him to Google all the images of the real cookbook he wants. Take it away, TikiPundit!

Ya'll jus' click on the images below to see the full size comic.

04 November 2005

Foto Friday & Pro-Waikiki God Speech

Back on September 25, a serial letter writer named John L. Werrill wrote in to the Honolu Red Star Pravdatiser, complaining about the "concrete jungle of Waikiki." Your friendly local Hawaiian god liked neither the tone nor the style of the Pravdatiser sour amateur scribe. So I put on my slippahs and board shorts and walked around to take another look at the place. Then I wrote this:

Concrete Jungles of the Mind

Bottom line first: This letter writer has been in and around Waikiki since at least 1997 and is still complaining about it. Why he no leave?

Serial letter-to-the-editor writer John L. Werrill is certainly entitled to get as much published as he can in the Honolulu Red Star Pravdatiser. We're all for that 'cause it sure beats blogging for a living. Here's what he wrote back on 25 September about Waikiki. I'm gonna fisk it:

"On a recent visit to the concrete jungle of Waikiki, I have serious cause to wonder which department of authority never says 'no' to anything, but 'yes' to everything. Whether it's increased water demand, sewage, traffic, electricity, or gas and air circulation, the density is beyond comprehension now, let alone what is in the course of construction on Lewers Street and beyond."

That's concrete, palm tree, golf course, beaches, wide sidewalks, zoo, aquarium, park-laden jungle to you, fella. And if it's "beyond comprehension," how are you able to comprehend it enough later in your letter to make comparisons with other cities? (see below)

"Who is in charge? Who grants the permits? Who studies the effect? Who would want to live there? The mayor? Anyone on the City Council? Anyone on the Planning Commission? A developer? I don't think so. It's asphyxiating, overwhelming, a saturated mass of inconceivable lengths that defies common sense and logic, if not limits, again and again."

TikiPundit is in charge, grants permits and studies the effect of the moon on water. As for who wanna live Waikiki, about half the people who ever see it, including islanders. Too much to do Waikiki. What mean "saturated mass of inconceivable lengths?" Gotta consult on that phrase. By the way, TikiPundit also set limits--remember that next time you come visit jungle. Like, set limit on bagging whiners.

"Major cities on this planet -- Paris, London, Rome, Buenos Aires, Manchester, Monaco..."

Stop right there. Manchester? Excuse me while I go shut off the Kook-Meter. Noise drive friendly god crazy. Manchester is a festering blighted town torturing north England with its polluted presence and over-marketed soccer team, a city chock-a-block with Dickensian public housing for the stunted locals to grow up and die in.

You can see some pictures of Manchester here, but remember these are ones they're trying to sell, so they're the best-looking scenes of that stink-town available.

And, London's Victorian-era sewer system is decaying beneath its streets, to the extent that local councils advised their subjects to not put trash out until they saw a garbage truck coming up the street -- the millions of rats that come out of cracks in the sewers are a health hazard to the public. TikiPundit know: he live England one time. Flew like bird back home, first chance.

Rome and Monaco are neither more park-laden nor less crowded than Waikiki. Rome's notorious pollution and noise got so bad that the city had to limit driving on days the last number of your car's license plate didn't match the correct even or odd number. Pollution in Rome is so bad that the reason the city lives today -- tourism -- is at risk because all the old buildings are decaying on the spot from it.

If you haven't been to Monaco, imagine putting Waikiki x 2 up on top at Konahuanui. Right on top, skyscrapers and all running up and down the mountainside. Monaco cut the natural shoreline and built right up to it in geometrically-accurate lines and angles. Dah Royal Family dat place did a great job of paving over any vestige of greenery, to the extent that they hadda build a Cactus Garden on a cliffside and you gotta go up and down stairs to see all of it.

TikiPundit been bot' places, he know wat talk about.

Fortunately, your friendly local Hawaiian god has visited many of the established major cities on this planet: London, Paris, Rome, Tokyo, San Francisco, New York, Chicago, Sydney, Lisbon, Milan, Munich and of course Peterborough, England. Plus a whole lot more back when I was in the Age of the Night-Canoes. So now I know cities mo bettah. I know about crime, decay and pollution in England, know about blighted, overbuilt tax-dodge Monaco, know about tattered, overrated London, know about toxic, polluted Rome.

Only ting dis guy got right is Paris. 'Cept for right now. Leetle problem with Muslim slums.

"[Major cities]...are proportionately less dense, yet within a block or two there's a park to sit in, loaded with trees and benches. Waikiki, a supposed resort, is nothing more than a pile-driver heap of mismanagement at its worst. I was glad to get out."

I'm glad you got out, too! Lass t'ing anyone need, some gadfly roaming around the parks, scaring kids wit his angry looks.

One thing our John's not gonna get out of is the letter-writing biz. Here's his other penmanships.

In May 2004, in the paper, he advised us all to "try to keep your underwear clean, in case you have cardiac arrest." This was a clever and astute reference to the Abu Ghraib prison photo scandal.


chirp chirp

Riiiiiiight. I tink what he meant to say was, if you win a prize vacation to Manchester, don't take pictures.

Back in September 2003 John was complaining about June Jones' football salary, writing, "What do I care for a UH football season that always seems to be over before it's begun?" Well, he cared enough to write a letter -- tossing in references to English football salaries that tip his sentiments, if not nationality. The letter also tipped TikiPundit to Google for other letters.

In October 2000, John took up pen and outrage, writing that he's "not sure anybody walks in this town, but I do, daily, not just for exercise but to get a bird’s-eye view of how things progress or deteriorate in so-called Paradise." John's observations this month, possibly underpinned by his seemingly extensive experience with avoiding living in England (think Rome, Monaco, Buenos Aires) focused on Kapiolani Boulevard. He called it on a par with Bombay or Haiti, and was under "the impression I was in a Third World pigsty of sleazy clubs, littered vacant lots and sloppy, ill-kept sidewalks strewn with everything imaginable: used diapers at the bus stops, underwear, fast-food remnants, hub caps, not to mention 10 million cigarette butts buried in 12-inch-high weeds." Reminds me of every part of London save Kensington and Whitehall, except there you can also see syringes, homeless people, McDonald's wrappers, empty beer cans, junked cars, council estates with plywood for glass in the windows, soot, gang tags and hawkers selling stolen goods in the open from their car trunks.

Your friendly local Hawaiian god got a new contact for anybody don' like Waikiki. Name John. Anyone like dat outta hook up with Haole in Honolulu. You know, birds of a feather complain together.

'Cept, Haole done leff. She gone, prolly Colorado, based on her threats. Maybe John outta take clue from departed canoe. Why hang around, juss feeding your misery all day? Why hang around, juss penning letter after letter? What kine man juss pen letter all day, take no action?

One more lettah.

Way back in May 1997 John was skirting the issue of the Concrete Jungle for the moment, writing instead to the Red Star Bulletin, "Vijay Singh preferred Bombay curry and everybody's still perspiring," in support of one's right to jest.


chirp chirp

Enuff a dat clown.