30 April 2006

May 1st: A Day Without Mexican Immigrants?

Answer my prayers, muchacho.

So Monday is the big coming-out party for illegals in the USA, as well as those who support them. By support, I don't mean the people who hire gardeners. I mean the Selma Hayek types and the California Legislature.

As for your friendly local Hawaiian god, I'm gonna go to the Mainland, by way of my trusty war canoe, and buy pizza, a good food that became great when American GIs returning from WW2 improved the Italian style into what it is today.

Because Lord knows, I just can't find decent Mexican food at home on my islands. Even if the clowns here working up those lousy burritos and tacos, and re-heating canned re-fried beans, show up for work on May 1st.

And after that, I go to Wal-Mart. On the border of El Paso - Juarez, Walton's parking lot is usually full of cars with Chihuahua State license plates. Maybe for once there will be ample parking, and the store aisles won't be strewn with empty shoe boxes, popcorn, and shopping carts of the Mexicans who cross like lemmings to buy touch lamps and door mats on the cheap. Maybe for once the store won't be full of Mexicans pondering the vagaries of the US dollar/cent system, because, you know, they'll instead be at home in Juarez, pondering the significance of their noble act as they breathe the deliciously polluted air of that armpit metropolis and count the bodies laying in their streets from the latest drug cartel shootout.


Hotel Waikiki reminds us of the importance of saimin. Hamura's Saimin over on Kauai just got big-time recognition for "preserving America's culinary heritage and diversity."

So what the heck is saimin? Tell you now. Tell you how to pronounce it now now: Sye-Meen. It's noodle soup, juss like dat. But not juss like dat. Like some people say chicken soup helps you get over a cold, so saimin is comfort food.

Saimin owes its background to three ethnic groups who migrated to Hawaii: Japanese, Chinese and Filipinos. Each brought some kine noodle into the mix. Ended up with egg wheat noodles.

But that's not just any noodle soup. Special kine. It's got sliced green onions, bok choy, fish cake, BBQ pork and/or SPAM, sometimes Portuguese sausage, and seaweed. Can get it all over the place. It's the Hawaiian answer to menudo in the Southwest: good for a hangover, low morale or anything else. Some people make a wonton saimin. Some people throw in gyozas from Japan.

I almost stopped writing after I wrote SPAM. Especially SPAM and eggs at L&L. Whew. That's a breakfast. Must focus. People rely on me.

Supposedly, saimin got its start in plantation days, back when my people were working the sugar and pineapple fields. I don't know. Your friendly local Hawaiian god was too busy chowing down on laulau and lomilomi to observe the peasants at that time. Supposedly everybody chipped in what they had in their shacks, and we all ended up with this brilliant food.

I sure do appreciate putting kimchi in. Whoever invented that ought to get a day off from the pineapple fields.

By the way, you can get fried saimin too. I don't like it.

The biggest deal about saimin, my opinion, is the soup base. Gotta be just right, or else it's junk. That's the same the world over, ain't it???

29 April 2006

Couple Stories West Texas

Your friendly local Hawaiian god wants to pass along a couple of interesting articles from his time in the Southwest.

The first talks about the elites discovering Southwest Texas in the same manner they discovered Wyoming and Montana. Traitor Jane Fonda and her ilk should be shopping for acreage even now. Gotta say, that's a harsh part of the Chihuahuan Desert to put in a Chanel shop. Just shows how crazy some people are.

The second is a remarkable story out of -- gotta think -- the Ruidoa Times, dat real paper? -- Presidio County, Texas, on the efforts to rejuvenate a town's cultural identity through the restoration of an adobe Catholic church.

26 April 2006

Gang of Eight General Alleged

Supposedly, an 8th (retired) general has come out against SECDEF. Problem is, your friendly local Hawaiian god can find hardly any media reporting this.

Which tells everyone, this group of losers has moved beyond their 15 minutes of (in)fame. At least, until the next presidential elections, when appointments will be handed out like candy by the winny political party.

As soon as I can find the ONE MSM source that reported this, there will be a miraculous creation of a motivational poster for the motivated, retired, still-subject-to-the-UCMJ clown that couldn't or wouldn't keep his mout' closed.

22 April 2006

TikiPundit Regionalizes!

TikiPundit Southwest pulling up to the hitching post here.

From time to time, I'm going to blog about Southwest news. No worries, though. Same sense of humor. Only different. Since it's dry there, my humor's gonna be dry too.

Whenever you see the picture above in a post, that's "TikiPundit Southwest" on the horn.

21 April 2006

Who Tried to Out General (RET) Shinseki?

Let's talk for a minute about local boy General (RET) Eric Shinseki, who served as Army Chief of Staff from 1999-2003.

Shinseki, a Japanese-American from over Kauai, did indeed serve his full term as Army CoS, contrary to enraged (and ignorant) comments that he was 'fired.' That means: from 22 June 1999 to 11 June 2003, for the math challenged. Whoops, looks like he missed four years by 11 days -- proof of the eeeeeevil Rumsfeld conspiracy to dump him. Because, you know, no servicemember in the history of the military ever got released early.

If you want to learn a little bit about Eric Shinseki and are not in Hawaii to visit the Army museum at Fort DeRussy, then check out one Wikipedia entry here.

[For those not in the know, Fort DeRussy and the eeeeeevil Army are the maintainers of the last green space in Waikiki, the Fort being a park open to the public. We talk about that later and one deranged guest editorialist bitching about Waikiki's development.]

NOW. Let's get to the meat of this post last. Like any good blogger, your friendly local Hawaiian god pontificates and rambles first, and cuts to the chase long after the chase has ended.

The Honolulu Red Star Bulletin wrote on 19 April that Shinseki is "vindicated by [the] retired generals' revolt." That's pretty revolting. Shinseki -- probably owing to good character and upbringing -- has stayed out of the trouble-making business after his retirement. He has not commented on the Gang of Seven, or anything else relating to his time as Army CoS and the run-up to the Iraq war.

The RSB writes,

In a recent interview with Newsweek, Shinseki declined to join the retired brass calling for Rumsfeld's resignation. However, he said the "person who should decide on the number of troops (to invade Iraq) is the combatant commander." That was Gen. Tommy Franks, now retired, who supports Rumsfeld.

Despite Shinseki's proper referral to the field commander, the Red Star Bulletin tried to hawk his statement to Congress on Iraq troop strength and, effectively, attempt to "out" him as a member of the Gang of Seven, making him accomplice Number Eight. That's made worse by the fact that he referred to the field general who supports Rumsfeld.

This would be disgraceful, except we're talking about the press. Given that factor, it's business as usual by Mainsteam Media, aka MSM.

But I'm not saying that the RSB is MSM. It's better tabbed as Regional Stream Media (RSM). Or maybe Island Stream Media (ISM). Or, given recent events, Sewage Stream Media (SSM).

Just so you know, inside the Army and across commands, Shinseki remains known (and largely vilified) for his introduction of the black beret as standard issue for soldiers and officers. That the Army Rangers were then forced to change the color of their beret from black to tan did not sit well with snake-eating door-kickers either.

But shush, irate lefties and righties. Your friendly local Hawaiian god does not long tolerate dissent. There is a shark-tooth club waiting for the worst of you miscreants.

The Honolulu Red Star Bulletin's editorial staff, consisting, best as we can tell through our celestial markings, our observances of leaf-growth, and our understanding of shark movements beyond the reefs, consists of David Black, Dan Case, Dennis Francis, Larry Johnson, Duane Kurisu, Warren Luke, Colbert Matsumoto, Jeffrey Watanabe, Michael Wo, Dennis Francis, Lucy Young-Oda, Frank Bridgewater, Michael Rovner, and Mary Poole.

And every last one of them should leave Eric Shinseki alone, just as he has left OSD, DOD, SECDEF, CJCS, JCS, JS and everyone else alone since he retired. Which is what officers do when they, as GEN MacArthur said, "just fade away."

This is outrageous.

You remember "Cartoon Jihad?" Now meet TikiPundit Jihad.

My image as a plush toy. We'll see about that.

17 April 2006

Update III: Generals' Motivational Posters

Now that Numbah Seven has turned up, it's time for a new poster. Hope there's no Gang of Eight, 'cause my Samoan artists are tired of all this General Bullsh**.

Problem is, how to get picture those guys. Pretty good at laying low on Google Images, one Major General Paul D. Eaton an' one Major General John Riggs.

Nevah mind. I got one Paul Eaton pic. Scroll down below to the bottom of the "General Insouciance" link to see a brand new motivational poster. Still need Riggs, though. Gotta sail east, navigate by night, study stars and wave heights and time, then I find it, fo' sure. Somewhere on the Mainland, near Las Vegas, I think, where Riggs is busy gambling on his political future.

On another note: Your friendly local Hawaiian god has not been idle in the information collection and management way. I've created a "spread sheet" (I think dat what people who have electricity and computers call it), made of ti and taro leaves, and kukui nuts, to begin "data-basing" one Gang of Seven's retirement grades, last assignments, dates of promotion, media outbursts, media outlets, quotes, political party if declared, and rumors & propaganda attributed to them. Will post (except for the 'R&P') when I have checked the tides, the moon, my fishponds and the state of my taro fields. So, relax for now. Dat kine could take awhile, since big-time Hawaii rains have damaged taro crops.

But guaranteed delivery before 2008 election.

Later on, gonna tell you all about First Command Financial Planning and its relationship with General Zinni. (If you're a general you gotta have job when you retire. Otherwise, you just stuck writing books with co-authors and/or going on CNN.)

16 April 2006

Ala Wai Sewer Canal and Marina

Senator Inouye is looking for federal funds to help repair Waikiki's old sewer system (the pipes, I mean, not the Ala Wai Canal, which was the sewer back in the day.) Inouye believes that because of Fort DeRussy, located in west Waikiki, the feds will cough up money to help out. I think it's a stretch. The military keeps one hotel and a museum there, small potatoes compared to the rest of the overgrown joint. But Inouye is smart enough for your friendly local Hawaiian god to think he could pull something off. What he needs to pull off, in addition, is a way to "reach out and touch" the less-proficient pols on-island who keep allowing construction without understanding the attendant effect on the city's infrastructure. (Forget about any effect on environment in Waikiki. That standard disappeared long ago, save Fort DeRussy, ironically the only genuine green space left around there but for the two bordering parks east and west.)

You can only plug into a sewer system so often before it goes boom. Must have seen 10-15 sewer line breaks in Waikiki in the last two and a half years. Since they're built under streets, you can guess what happens to the already-crowded traffic flow when another "emergency repair" has to be made.

15 April 2006

The Generals: Gang of Six Gets Another

We now have a Gang of Seven speaking out against SECDEF Rumsfeld.

Lieutenant General (RET) Paul K. Van Riper has weighed in, stating in press, "I admire those who have stepped forward, and I agree with the arguments they are making. I count myself in the same camp."

Now TikiPundit weighs in, stepping forward and agreeing to place Van Riper on yet another Motivational Poster.

Scroll down for PhotoShop goodness.

Van Riper retired in 1997.

Moat of Death in Pacific?

National Geographic reports on Nafanua. With eel picture goodness.

Alcohol Trubs Down on Guam

Looks like the US Air Force has been messing up on Guam. Big-time wing commander has banned for three days sometime next week.

The commander may solve some things with this mandatory drying-out period, but he needs some better advice. Crime is up on Air Force bases, but alcohol consumption is down compared to back in the day. Your friendly local Hawaiian god goes waaaay back with the military and knows this. Something else is wrong on Anderson AFB and the Wing King may not or may understand what that is.

13 April 2006

General Insousciance

UPDATE: Scroll down for the latest Motivational Posters by disgruntled ex-generals.

UPDATE II: I was going to post a ton of links to this sad story, but why bother? -- There's a killer list killer at UNPARTISAN. Click down for another poster, this time of the latest big-mouth, aka Number Seven, a guy who never worked for SECDEF Rumsfeld.

UPDATE III: Paul Eaton joins the poster crew. Scroll down for GOG7 goodness.

Pulled from seasonal maintenance of my coconut palm patch by the ever-articulate wordcraft of The Belgravia Dispatch, your friendly local Hawaiian god is at a loss to explain the extraordinary treachery and seditious behavior presently being exhibited by what were previously assumed to be the cream of the crop of America's military forces.

I'm not talking about NCOs. They still are the cream of the crop.

I refer instead to a set of retired general officers, who are revealed to have been primping, career-oriented, self-obsessed, whiny dirtbags lacking in basic ethics training and, who generally spent their time in the military as war profiteers of a different sort. If all of them don't have draft chapters of their swan-song books cubbyholed away on their hard drives, I'd be more surpsied than a hooker at a lacrosse party. Or else they're up every morning in a suit and tie, before the mirror on the back of their bedroom door, practicing their "military analyst" serious pose and reciting what few facts about current military operations they can still glean from those on active duty.

Therefore, enraged by their seditious behavior and repulsed by their cowardice, your friendly local Hawaiian god has commissioned a set of motivational posters to entice, improve and enhance the office environments of those who would mimic them as they rise to the top of the military's pecking order. You know, lootenants and such who look to general officers for mentoring and such.

My Polynesian artists are slaving away in the taro fields by day, as usual, and creating these posters by night, so results are slow despite my wielding of the shark-tooth club. You know, I can't just kill them. It takes MONTHS for new artists from Samoa to be canoed in.

Here are the first two:

Dept. of Only in England

Cop busts up on renter for five pence owed.

Now, wouldn't it be great if American law enforcement were so Bobby-on-the-job? We'd reduce the number of illegal immigrants by, oh, 10,999,999*.

*Cause you always have to have "the one that got away" in any story.

08 April 2006

Mmmm, laulau time

Must be dinnertime, because I'm hungry after reading Ma'ona. Ma'ona got one good recipe for laulau here.

You just can't beat dat kine food.

I'm intrigued by the possibility of substituting banana leaves or even corn husks for ti leaves. Those are more common here.

Bev Harbin's New Blog

One unappointed kahunette Bev Harbin got a blog going. Click that to see dat.

Or if your mouse hand is tired, look here:

Check out that retro design! Like a cross between Vegas and "Love, American Style." Are those blurred red lights from a police cruiser?

Here's her Keyword List for search engines:
Bev Harbin, Beverly Harbin, Beverly,
Representatives, Representative Bev Harbin,
28th District,
small business,
Financial District,
Hawaii Legislatures,
Hawaii Representatives, businesses,
Bev Harbin Blog

How about adding:
--HPD file photo
--back taxes
--hates appointments
--angry local Hawaiian god

Third thing Harbin wrote on 28 Feb, day she started blogging, is, "But once one is elected to office, he or she discovers a new society." We all know about that whole "elected" thing. Harbin rants mightily about the old legislative guard, who the masters are, power brokers, and how high-school students are more than qualified to serve on some Hawaii Legislature Committees.

Worst of all, your friendly local Hawaiian god learns that Harbin is on the Hawaiian Affairs Committee. See what happens when you go away short time? Time to carve out a new war canoe and paddle it into the Legislature, and generally knock heads about in a genial, friendly way.

Now, on this I am in agreement with Harbin: she is no more qualified to sit that committee than a kukua nut.

What I can't figure out is her logic: she writes, "Four of the committees to which I have been appointed, without my consent or even my prior awareness, are beyond my experience and expertise." Then she mocks the same committees with, "I regret that my reluctance to serve on committees for which many high-school students are more qualified than I am..." Goodness! Either Harbin is suffering from a severe case of low self-esteem, or she has less talent than a high school student. Maybe both?

Harbin speaks like a true Democrat when she urges younger House members to "stimulate new rules." That's just what we need. If she thinks the "Olde Guarde" and "voices of reason" are stifling "good government," what will new rules do? They'll add to the problem, of course. Democrats are usually good at spinning new webs when the old strands get frayed.

At the bottom of her site, Harbin urges us: "Be curious! Be aware! Be Involved! Be a factor!" Your friendly local Hawaiian god remains aware that he is curious about Bev's involvement with HPD, and would like to know more, by a factor of 10!

02 April 2006

Tacos, El Paso & the LA Times

Boy, another fool from LA Times rears his ugly head.

Dagoberto Gilb, big-time LA Times "special supplement" writer, goes on and on about Mexican food in America in the LA Times back on March 19th. Sorry, your friendly local Hawaiian god was eating too many tacos to comment up to now.

Now I comment.

Gilb is an idiot.

He talks about how an Americanized version of Mexican food informed an entire generation about what was supposedly standard in Mexico.

Gilb ought to get out more.

He moans about Taco Bell and other similar joints being based on some idealized version of Mexican food formed after WWII.

He really ought to get out more. He ought to get out more in order to realize that San Antonio is not near the Texas border, contrary to what he wrote: "But consider what has happened in the most populated Mexican American cities near the Texas border — El Paso and San Antonio."

San Antonio near the Mexican border. Heh.

Not sure what to think of the invented phrase, "Mexican American cities."

But sure that this is Mainstream Media, once again.

Gilb also doesn't understand that for every Taco Bell in -- at least -- El Paso, there are 100 Mexican restaurants. Six Taco Bells in El Paso. Perhaps if Gilb got off the I-10 on his -- likely -- solitary trip from LA to San Antonio, his culinary awareness might have been awoken. And a drug-addled supplemental journalist might well have thought that San Antonio is near the Mexico border if he spent eight hours passed out in the passenger seat of his car nearly OD'd on crack and marijuana on that long stretch between "The Northern Pass" and San Antonio.

It could happen.

But even if another culinary trip out of the smog-besotted LA Basin -- a natural home for those who crave reality clouded by illusion and fantasies unhindered by al pastor realities -- is too much for the "finalist for a National Book Critics Circle Award," then surely Gilb could wander a few blocks to find a taco van or taqueria nearby. LA is swimming in them, if anyone at the LA Times is brave enough to wander outdoors.

Before assigning Gilb to another worthless article, LA Times editors should check out The Great Taco Hunt. Now there's a writer.