30 June 2006

New Logo for Southwest Posts

I've created a new logo for posts from my temporary work over on the Mainland, in the Southwest.

When I post about Southwest issues, I'll flag with this graphic:

28 June 2006

Hawai'i News

Your friendly local Hawai'ian god is late on some Hawai'i news and commentary. There is no excuse for tardiness in my highly structured, ritualized Hawai'ian society. That's why I just beat myself on top of my head with a shark-tooth club. Here goes.

ITEM: This whole thing about "certified" Kona coffee is just silly. Especially the bit about ensuring that "the coffee tastes the way Kona coffee is supposed to taste." How can you ensure opinion? How can you mandate taste? How do you quantify "supposed?" That's so ridiculous and immature, but those are the ways a lot of business and government interests are. Only my interests are above such childishness.

ITEM: The domestic terrorist group Greenpeace chopped down papaya trees over on the Big Island, according to Hawai'i Reporter. Local Hawai'ian god has a special fondness for trees and this silly little Stalinist agit-prop outfit has righteously irked same for years. You always hear about Greenpeace donations, and new members, but you never hear about terrorists members who leave. How many score people still subscribe to this college-age rebellionist mentality anymore, anyway? I can tell you this too: any Greenpeace terrorist on my islands who claims to be "called" by Native Hawai'ians is full of ka-ka (that's a Hawai'ian word for you-know-what, by the way, and I hope every little hair-knot, brand-new slippah wearing, muu-muu buying earth-mother fake-dreadlock haole freak who flies here ernestly repeats it in their basic Hawai'ian language immersion class. Here are a few language examples to help out:
"Greenpeace is ka-ka." -- Translation: Greenpeace is a very legitimate organization trying to help save children and all living beings.
"Ka-ka to papaya." -- Translation: Someone told me these Republican trees are harmful to people and little children. So I will cut them down and save the world.
"My job is ka-ka." -- Translation: I just flew over here on a whim since I'm a Gen Why loser without a clue. So I got a job in a Waikiki restaurant bussing tables but it's OK because on my day off I can go chop down some of this jade-green greenery I see up the Ko'olau, which is ALL GM, or so I've been told in my "indoctrination sessions" at the "Farm."
"Ka-ka to papa." -- Translation: Local anti-papaya slang for, "Cut them down before their fruit cuts us down in the prime of our productive, well-educated, rational lives."
"My career is ka-ka." -- Translation: I can't afford a car, a house, new slippers or a decent meal, and I'm too radical to get an education/degree, deodorant, a new Che head-rag, a politically-conformist "surf-board," a car, a bus pass, a bike, a consumerist rice cooker, or a grain of an original idea, so I'll just blame my stupidity and personal failtures this awful Hawai'ian society and compensate for myself by going to chop down some perfectly healthy papaya trees."

ITEM: Who can decode this message?
01305 60510 12079 04606 50100 93000 08203 90130 94069 01207 81080 17028 01706 90220 73038 01401 70150 15073 00402 00680 12013 12510 00540 04091 01401 30150 86022 09608 10660 02082 05507 00020 00000 02208 30290 08022 01200 40710 13065 02709 40190 29014 02200 80020 11083 07300 30260 19000 00700 00000
13565 11279 46651 93823 91394 69127 81817 28176 92273 38141 71515 73426 81213 12515 44911 41315 86229 68166 28255 72228 32982 21247 11365 27941 92914 22821 18373 326197
Sorry. No prize for this. But you get one day off from working in my GM-modified taro patches.

ITEM: The Dougout notes another example of anti-taro culture. I'm telling you, I look every day at my taro patches, and the disease is just killing me. Subordinates tell me that some shops in Hono have reduced local sales, in order to keep the lucrative Mainland and -Nesia shipments going. This is just sick. We gotta have GM-taro, people. I order this. Studied species variance in college. Mandatory in food crops.

ITEM: One poorly written, poorly politicked Akaka Bill suffered a deserved defeat in the Senate. Where Sen. Akaka failed was in his strategic planning. No one would have said no to equal recognition for Native Hawai'ians alongside Native Americans and Native Alaskans (though none are actually "native" to the lands they claim. In fact, the only natives are in Africa). The problem was growing awareness of such ridiculous organizations as OHA and the perception (whether true or false) of the relative prosperity of Native Hawai'ians compared to their poor "brethren" on the rez's on the Mainland. On the Mainland, Akaka Bill was seen as two things: 1) a money grab and, 2) the first step in Balkanizing the USA. In that order of priority. Sen. Akaka has to re-draft his silly bill, after considering much-more difficult and wide-ranging notions such as the unity of the Union, the facts of the 1890s, and the notion of who really "grew here." I don't give my subordinate Akaka much chance of success.

ITEM: RONW at Hotel Waikiki ponders the vagaries of judging the best hamburger in Hono. No worries, Ron: the best burger is on my grill. It's probably on your grill, too. No Honolulu Pravdatiser or Red Star Bulletin writer knows better!

26 June 2006

Miss Demeanor Part 1

The satire makes itself, really... when you ponder the silliness and hubris of certain qualified public figures... (click on image for full-size).

23 June 2006

Talk Stink Link Added

Talk Stink blog is now reflected in TikiPundit links to the right, under Hawai'i.

And I Thought I Was the Only One Comic Life-ing Bev Harbin

Heh. Talk Stink puts up another comic about Bev Harbin here.

21 June 2006

You All Know What TikiPundit Think About Bev Harbin

Now you gonna know what friendly local Hawaiian god thinks about blog Talk Stink.

Amazingly, unelected pol Bev Harbin, for the time being a Democrat, has attacked a local blog, Talk Stink. Harbin claims Talk Stink is squatting on two domain names, "BevHarbin” and “BeverlyHarbin” dot com.

Don't know nothing about domain squatting. Only know about squatting on my haunches while I watch my people work the taro fields and make sure water levels are correct, check movement of sun across sky, monitor for weeds and so on.

Monitor for weeds? I never told my people to monitor for political weeds. Anyway...

I do wonder, what is wrong with domain "squatting" when Bev Harbin is squatting on a Representative's seat in the Legislature without having earned it the normal way -- through election? You'd think that silly tax cheat and check bouncer would be more contrite.

Attack dog-mode is really inappropriate right now. I wonder if there's a lot about more Harbin than her tax record and her predilection for bouncing checks that could be aired internationally. And I wonder if such information could be found out and blogged.

Here's a picture of Harbin, in case you're standing in long line at the post office and looking at the Wanted Posters. Not that there's any connection.

Laundry about Harbin -- if it exists -- should be aired, now that the silly Rep has gone on the offensive against a private citizen.

The whole situation is outrageous. Harbin, a public figure, claims that Talk Stink has defamed her personally. What was that about the Supreme Court and public figures? No wonder Gov. Lingle asked Harbin to resign last fall. Unlike Lingle, Harbin understands not the Constitution, nor precedence, nor law, nor integrity, nor decency, nor standards.

Indeed, Harbin particularly appears to be too stupid to understand law. Such as: the law that say you have to pay taxes, or else that difficult one that states that passing bad checks is illegal. Things that the publisher of Talk Stink learned in grade school.

So this scofflaw -- this stupid public figure -- is now attacking a private citizen.

That's an actionable offense. If not in court, then in the court of public opinion.

Wonder what Harbin's agenda is? Re-election err, legitimate election? Does Dear Bev actually think she has a chance at anything politically higher than being an unelected Democrat in Hawai'i?

This situation is dumb beyond belief. Your friendly local Hawaiian god thinks it's self-destructive, in the same way that running a business into the ground, and failing to pay taxes, or passing bad checks, will just ruin your credit rating.

Ruin. I wonder if that will be Harbin's epitaph on her tombstone. Will that be her legacy? Does all she touch turn to shit, from auto repair to signed checks to tax bills to bloggers? Will Beretania flood with ka-ka outside her office? Is she the anti-Inouye?

TikiPundit has distractedly and from afar observed the secular activities of four important current Hawaii pols -- my servants Inouye, Akaka, Lingle and -- yes, Case -- and each exude more class, integrity, righteousness, and belief in our blessed islands -- each exudes more of these from their dangling right pinkies than Harbin has in her entire stinky carcass.

Pop quiz: Why does the Legislature stink when Hawai'i has such pure air?

Your friendly local Hawaiian god -- not so friendly now as I ponder the utter arrogance and stupidity of this haole Democrat (as well as the UH mess over GM taro that Doug at Poinography has been all over >>my blessed and beloved taro!<<) -- your not-so-friendly god will shortly be addressing Harbin's faults and failings here, on this blog. Local god will address the public actions of this cancerous boil on the previously-pure butt of my beloved Hawai'i.

Stay tuned.

For now, check out collection of TikiPundit posts on one Bev Harbin.

As for Talk Stink, you stay da course. You in da family, Harbin not. Harbin, I think, is "no breath," and with the added stink of having a political agenda not seen since the annex of the Kingdom of Hawai'i. Well, maybe not dat, but Queen Lili‘uokalani gotta be turning over in her holy grave at the actions of Harbin.

I refer to Queen respectfully. Even Hawaiian god show respect before Queen Lili‘uokalani.

But never show nothing of my people's culture before some half-assed pol like Harbin. That would be like equating Pu`uhonua o Honaunau with Hon\Hawaii.

And dat sacrilege.

Punishable by shark-tooth club to head on sacred heiau.

Talk Stink: as a private US citizen, you are in a prized position: You are a free thinker in a free country and no hack, unelected politician with a criminal background has the power to stop your thoughts, your speech, or your blog. You got the Constitution, Bill of Rights and Supreme Court decisions all on your side, as well as the smart work of EFF in recent times, all backing you up.

No ridiculous outsider -- no misguided, overly-ambitious, craven, undertalented idiot who is so roundly despised that even her lower-than-low political reputation has seeped into her walnut-sized brain -- has ammunition to back her laughable defamation claims up. Harbin herself said in January 2006, "The administration doesn't like me. Our caucus doesn't like me. Republicans don't like me. Democrats don't like me."

Wow, Harbin seems to think that no-one likes her, except, as she claims, small businesses. Maybe there should be a crackdown on Hawai'i small businesses, just to see who else is passing bad checks and dodging tax bills, like she did. Then we might see the last vestige of support for this clown disappear, just as the state saw tax revunue disappear from her business.

This Hawaiian god, who sees his people down $125,000 in taxes that could flow for the common good to Waianae, Mililani, Volcano, or to his ancestral homeland of Molokai, thinks that Harbin could do a lot of good for the community if she left the political stage. Or if she departed it by political, social, or criminal justice processes.

This Hawaiian god says: Mess with Molokai, you mess with the best. Take tax money from the state that could flow to Molokai, you take poi from the mouths of my people, you breathless POS. That's actionable in the political and legal systems.

JUST NOW: Glad to see Talk Stink talking more. Publish hilarious comic here. Hmm, Talk Stink likes Comic Life too.

Third picture on right: Goodness, dat Jack Nicholson?

TikiPundit likes Comic Life. A lot. TikiPundit now respect Talk Stink, and grant two-day holiday from working in my taro fields.

Stay tuned to Talk Stink, like you always should. Got RSS over there. RSS make easy read.

And stay tuned TikiPundit. Guarantee more coming on Harbin.

Finally, stay tuned even if the unelected political pseudo-Democrat gadfly is too chicken to the mention her issues with Talk Stink issues on her laughable, retro 1970s ass-clown blog.

17 June 2006

Dear Leader on a Roll

Beloved Leader has been funny for a long time, but he's outdoing himself these days. You'd think the leader of North Korea could get all the girls he wants, but his posts indicate he just can stop thinking about them. Read them all. Lots of fun pics. This is what blogging is all about.

11 June 2006

Murtha's Wannabe Charge Up Mt Suribachi

Surprise, surprise. Congressman John Murtha, the reborn anti-war activist, is considering a run at Majority Leader of the House. When they win it, you know. If they do.

But you know, as soon as Murtha opened his decrepit mouth to take pot-shots at his former Marine brothers, among others, you could see his agenda. No one -- not this old fool and not the anti-Rumsfeld Gang of Seven -- operates this way without an agenda.

Murtha must love the power. Probably hasn't had such a taste since he was a colonel in the Marines, before he became a de facto ex-Marine because he suddenly got diahrerra of the mouth over the war on terror.

This guy ought to join the Gang of Seven (possibly eight, although one retired general was not articulate or media-savvy enough to make a media splash), except he was not seen fit by the Marine Corps to become a general.

Seems like, according to MSM, that Murtha's Friday self-nomination didn't go over well with Democrats. Said one, "Members really think Jack Murtha has caused a huge disruption. This is a major distraction from what our focus should be. We should be focusing on taking back the House, not leadership ambitions."

You got that right, you Congressional REMF.

Scrappleface pegs the offensive Congressman's politics.

05 June 2006

Spam, Eggs and...


Since I'm dividing time between the Southwest and Hawaii, and because rice cooker (the servant, I mean, not the appliance) is at home in Hawaii, I decided to try this one out. That's right, Spam, eggs and grits, with shredded cheese down in there too.

Note double yolk for double luck.

It wasn't bad, although it wasn't good.

The next one came out better.

This is chile verde: pork loin, jalapenos and garlic cooked forever in a cilantro/tomatillo puree. Had to add in a couple of corn tortillas heated in a pan on the stove.

Well, this is no food blog like Ono Kine Grindz or Big Island Grinds. Read them for the real local deal.

Meanwhile, I just keep working in the kitchen on next big idea: Southwest-Pac Fusion Cuisine! Next time: Spam, Eggs, Rice & Poi Burrito wrapped in ti leaf!